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Captioning made possible
By mgm home entertainment
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Oliver: ♪ green acres
Is the place to be ♪
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♪ farm livin' is
The life for me ♪
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♪ land spreadin'
Out so far and wide ♪
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♪ keep manhattan, just
Give me that countryside ♪
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Lisa: ♪ new york ♪
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♪ is where I'd rather stay ♪
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♪ I get allergic ♪
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♪ smelling hay ♪
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♪ I just adore a
Penthouse view ♪
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♪ darling, I love you ♪
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♪ but give me park avenue ♪
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♪ the chores ♪
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♪ the stores ♪
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♪ fresh air ♪
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♪ times square ♪
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♪ you are my wife ♪
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♪ good-bye, city life ♪
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Both: ♪ green acres,
We are there ♪
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Well, keep ringing, sarah.
I'm sure they're home.
21
00:01:36,329 --> 00:01:37,996
Oh, hello, henrietta.
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I hope the phone
Didn't disturb you.
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00:01:43,637 --> 00:01:44,936
Hello?
24
00:01:45,005 --> 00:01:47,405
Oh, hello, mrs. Douglas.
It's sam drucker.
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00:01:47,474 --> 00:01:49,474
Sorry to get you up the pole.
26
00:01:49,542 --> 00:01:51,476
Oh, that's all
Right. I don't mind.
27
00:01:51,544 --> 00:01:53,845
But don't call
Unless it's important.
28
00:01:53,914 --> 00:01:55,647
Uh, you're disturbing henrietta.
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00:01:55,715 --> 00:01:56,648
Henrietta?
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00:01:56,716 --> 00:01:57,816
Yes, the pigeon.
31
00:01:57,885 --> 00:01:59,528
She's sitting on
The top of the pole
32
00:01:59,552 --> 00:02:02,020
On her eggs in the
Little basket she made.
33
00:02:02,089 --> 00:02:05,190
A basket? Oh, you mean a nest.
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00:02:05,259 --> 00:02:06,724
2 of them look like her,
35
00:02:06,794 --> 00:02:08,927
And 2 of them look
Like her husband.
36
00:02:08,996 --> 00:02:10,929
Well, that's very nice.
37
00:02:10,998 --> 00:02:12,931
Look, the reason I
Called, mrs. Douglas,
38
00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:15,233
Is to tell you I'm takin'
A 2-weeks vacation.
39
00:02:15,302 --> 00:02:17,035
Oh. Have a good time.
40
00:02:18,238 --> 00:02:20,438
Hello? Hello?
41
00:02:22,009 --> 00:02:25,076
Sarah, would you get
Mrs. Douglas back for me?
42
00:02:35,823 --> 00:02:37,055
Hello?
43
00:02:37,124 --> 00:02:39,257
Hello, mrs. Douglas.
Sam drucker again.
44
00:02:39,326 --> 00:02:41,693
Well, I thought you
Went on a vacation.
45
00:02:41,761 --> 00:02:44,562
No, not yet. Look, I
Called to tell you
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00:02:44,631 --> 00:02:46,791
That the store's gonna be
Closed for a couple of weeks,
47
00:02:46,834 --> 00:02:48,099
So if you need anything,
48
00:02:48,168 --> 00:02:49,728
You'd better come
In today and order it.
49
00:02:49,769 --> 00:02:52,170
I'll make up a list. Good-bye.
50
00:02:53,673 --> 00:02:55,606
Here. Here's your
Paper and pencil.
51
00:02:55,675 --> 00:02:56,808
Hmm?
52
00:02:56,877 --> 00:02:58,810
Write on the top of
The paper "Shopping list."
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What for?
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00:02:59,947 --> 00:03:01,813
So if you lose it,
And somebody finds it,
55
00:03:01,882 --> 00:03:03,648
They know what it is.
56
00:03:03,717 --> 00:03:05,116
I see.
57
00:03:06,686 --> 00:03:07,752
That's it?
58
00:03:07,821 --> 00:03:09,387
Is that how you
Spell "Shopping,"
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00:03:09,456 --> 00:03:10,856
With one "O" and 2 ps?
60
00:03:10,924 --> 00:03:12,023
Mm-hmm.
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00:03:12,092 --> 00:03:14,792
I always spell it
With 2 os and one "P".
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00:03:14,862 --> 00:03:16,294
That's "Shooping."
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You mean, all this
Time I've been shooping
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00:03:18,398 --> 00:03:19,831
Instead of shopping?
65
00:03:19,900 --> 00:03:21,266
I guess so.
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00:03:21,335 --> 00:03:23,034
Funny nobody noticed it.
67
00:03:23,103 --> 00:03:24,914
Why don't you figure
Out what you need?
68
00:03:24,938 --> 00:03:27,339
All right, let me see.
69
00:03:27,407 --> 00:03:29,341
Oh, I didn't know I was so low.
70
00:03:29,409 --> 00:03:31,642
Uh, put down a
Bottle of nail polish.
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00:03:31,711 --> 00:03:32,844
All right.
72
00:03:32,913 --> 00:03:34,679
That's all I need
In this closet.
73
00:03:34,748 --> 00:03:36,993
Now let me see what
I need in this closet.
74
00:03:37,017 --> 00:03:39,517
Oh, put down a
Jar of cold cream.
75
00:03:39,586 --> 00:03:41,519
Where do you keep the food?
76
00:03:41,588 --> 00:03:43,668
Oh, over here in this closet.
77
00:03:47,660 --> 00:03:49,605
Darling, as long as mr. Drucker
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00:03:49,629 --> 00:03:50,909
Is away for 2 weeks,
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00:03:50,964 --> 00:03:53,109
You'd better order
Another 50 pounds.
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00:03:53,133 --> 00:03:54,332
You've got enough there
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00:03:54,401 --> 00:03:56,301
To keep me sick
For the rest of...
82
00:03:56,370 --> 00:03:58,603
Uh, no, we don't
Need any, I mean.
83
00:03:58,671 --> 00:04:00,906
Look, why don't you
Order some food?
84
00:04:00,974 --> 00:04:04,242
All right. Order a
Box of eye shadow.
85
00:04:04,311 --> 00:04:06,311
No, I mean something to eat.
86
00:04:06,380 --> 00:04:09,080
Uh, some cans of something.
87
00:04:09,149 --> 00:04:11,449
Well, order 8 cans of something.
88
00:04:11,518 --> 00:04:14,685
Is that enough for 2 weeks?
89
00:04:14,754 --> 00:04:16,687
Why don't you let me order it?
90
00:04:16,756 --> 00:04:18,368
All right, darling, you do it.
91
00:04:18,392 --> 00:04:19,457
Oh, wait a moment.
92
00:04:19,526 --> 00:04:21,159
I have to order
Something else. Come on.
93
00:04:23,630 --> 00:04:25,397
We need a lipstick.
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00:04:25,465 --> 00:04:26,697
One lipstick.
95
00:04:28,068 --> 00:04:29,267
This flavor.
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00:04:29,336 --> 00:04:30,980
Ok, I'll kiss mr. Drucker
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00:04:31,004 --> 00:04:33,084
And see if he has it.
98
00:04:34,741 --> 00:04:36,207
Ben, I was countin' on you.
99
00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:38,609
Somebody's gotta take
Over my deputy sheriff duties
100
00:04:38,678 --> 00:04:40,545
While I'm away seein' my sister.
101
00:04:40,613 --> 00:04:43,748
No, she's not gonna
Have another baby.
102
00:04:43,817 --> 00:04:46,051
It's her 68th birthday.
103
00:04:46,119 --> 00:04:48,159
I'll take over bein'
Deputy for you.
104
00:04:48,221 --> 00:04:50,155
Joe, put that down.
105
00:04:50,223 --> 00:04:52,857
I'm just examining
It for the worms.
106
00:04:52,926 --> 00:04:55,060
I de-wormed the whole basket.
107
00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:56,995
Ben, you've gotta do this...
108
00:04:57,064 --> 00:04:58,541
This one's got a worm in it.
109
00:04:58,565 --> 00:05:00,031
Well, you can have it.
110
00:05:00,100 --> 00:05:03,368
Not the apple, the worm.
111
00:05:03,437 --> 00:05:05,670
Ben, look, I...
112
00:05:05,738 --> 00:05:08,406
Oh, all right. I'll call fred.
113
00:05:08,475 --> 00:05:09,595
Joe: hi, mr. Douglas.
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00:05:09,642 --> 00:05:11,787
Hi, mr. Carson, mr. Drucker.
115
00:05:11,811 --> 00:05:13,689
Say, I understand you're
Going on a vacation.
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Yeah.
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00:05:14,714 --> 00:05:16,025
Well, we're gonna miss you.
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I ain't.
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00:05:17,084 --> 00:05:18,350
Nobody's talkin' to you.
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00:05:18,418 --> 00:05:20,051
Is there something
You need, mr. Douglas?
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00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:21,219
Yes, a few things.
122
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That your shooping list?
123
00:05:23,490 --> 00:05:25,223
Uh, yes.
124
00:05:25,292 --> 00:05:27,570
Don't buy any apples.
They're full of worms.
125
00:05:27,594 --> 00:05:30,495
Uh, first thing I need
Is some nail polish.
126
00:05:30,563 --> 00:05:32,963
What kind do you use?
127
00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:34,799
It's for mrs. Douglas.
128
00:05:34,868 --> 00:05:37,002
There you are. 39 cents.
129
00:05:38,438 --> 00:05:40,705
Isn't that a little large?
130
00:05:40,773 --> 00:05:42,207
Well, that's the economy size.
131
00:05:42,275 --> 00:05:43,875
The women use this
For a lot of things
132
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Besides their
Nails... Enamelin' pots,
133
00:05:46,113 --> 00:05:47,412
Glazin' china.
134
00:05:47,481 --> 00:05:50,548
Uh, have you any other colors?
135
00:05:50,617 --> 00:05:52,317
No, this is the only
One it comes in...
136
00:05:52,386 --> 00:05:54,952
"Teddy roosevelt pink."
137
00:05:55,022 --> 00:05:57,022
That's the same shade
Teddy's cheeks used to turn
138
00:05:57,090 --> 00:05:58,390
When he got mad.
139
00:05:58,458 --> 00:05:59,524
Oh.
140
00:05:59,592 --> 00:06:02,727
Hello, sam, joe, mr. Douglas.
141
00:06:02,795 --> 00:06:04,362
Hello, mr. Ziffel.
142
00:06:04,431 --> 00:06:05,563
What are you gonna do?
143
00:06:05,632 --> 00:06:07,365
You gonna enamel some pots?
144
00:06:09,069 --> 00:06:10,135
That's for my wife.
145
00:06:10,203 --> 00:06:12,303
How is that
Beautiful little lady?
146
00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:14,583
Oh, she's fine, thank
You. How's mrs. Ziffel?
147
00:06:14,607 --> 00:06:17,975
Oh, what'd you want
To bring her up for?
148
00:06:18,045 --> 00:06:20,211
Fred, I was gonna call
You. I thought maybe
149
00:06:20,280 --> 00:06:22,258
You'd take over bein'
Deputy sheriff for me
150
00:06:22,282 --> 00:06:23,548
While I'm on my vacation.
151
00:06:23,616 --> 00:06:25,783
Not me. I'll do it.
152
00:06:25,852 --> 00:06:26,918
Why not, fred?
153
00:06:26,986 --> 00:06:28,153
I'm too busy.
154
00:06:28,221 --> 00:06:30,166
Sam, I told you, I'd be glad to.
155
00:06:30,190 --> 00:06:31,656
Joe, I ain't interested.
156
00:06:34,827 --> 00:06:37,273
Why don't you keep
Out of my way, newt?
157
00:06:37,297 --> 00:06:39,464
What's the matter with him?
158
00:06:39,533 --> 00:06:41,499
Sam, there's your man.
159
00:06:41,568 --> 00:06:42,811
What'd I do?
160
00:06:42,835 --> 00:06:44,769
Nothin', newt.
How'd you like to be
161
00:06:44,837 --> 00:06:46,571
Deputy sheriff for
A couple of weeks?
162
00:06:46,639 --> 00:06:48,606
Uh, no thanks.
163
00:06:48,675 --> 00:06:50,819
I got too much to
Do around my farm.
164
00:06:50,843 --> 00:06:52,788
Gonna enamel my bathtub.
165
00:06:52,812 --> 00:06:55,091
Let me have a gallon
If that nail polish,
166
00:06:55,115 --> 00:06:56,159
Will you, sam?
167
00:06:56,183 --> 00:06:57,315
Doggone it.
168
00:06:57,384 --> 00:06:59,417
Who am I gonna get
To take over for me?
169
00:06:59,486 --> 00:07:01,886
Gentlemen, I'm surprised at you.
170
00:07:01,955 --> 00:07:04,422
The community has
To have law and order.
171
00:07:04,491 --> 00:07:06,269
Uh, this gonna be
172
00:07:06,293 --> 00:07:08,071
A long speech, mr. Douglas?
173
00:07:08,095 --> 00:07:09,360
Uh, well, no, I...
174
00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:11,563
Better sit down,
Newt. It usually is.
175
00:07:12,932 --> 00:07:14,610
Well, all I was going to say
176
00:07:14,634 --> 00:07:16,345
Is that it's every
Citizen's duty
177
00:07:16,369 --> 00:07:17,802
To help in any way he can
178
00:07:17,870 --> 00:07:19,415
To uphold the law of the land,
179
00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:21,239
No matter how arduous
180
00:07:21,308 --> 00:07:23,441
Or distasteful
This task might be.
181
00:07:23,510 --> 00:07:25,876
This country was
Not built by shirkers.
182
00:07:25,945 --> 00:07:27,878
What would've happened
If j. Edgar hoover
183
00:07:27,947 --> 00:07:30,948
Had said, "Oh, I'm too
Busy to run the fbi"?
184
00:07:31,017 --> 00:07:33,251
Why, the forces
Of crime and evil
185
00:07:33,320 --> 00:07:36,354
Would run rampant
Over the countryside.
186
00:07:36,423 --> 00:07:37,833
Our whole system
Of jurisprudence
187
00:07:37,857 --> 00:07:39,702
Is based on the
Enforcement of the law...
188
00:07:39,726 --> 00:07:40,791
Raise your right hand.
189
00:07:42,028 --> 00:07:43,606
Do you solemnly swear
To carry out the duties
190
00:07:43,630 --> 00:07:45,130
Of deputy sheriff of this county
191
00:07:45,198 --> 00:07:46,797
To the best of your ability?
192
00:07:46,866 --> 00:07:48,866
Say "I do." I do. No man...
193
00:07:48,935 --> 00:07:50,801
Congratulations, deputy douglas.
194
00:07:50,870 --> 00:07:53,638
Oh, now, wait a
Minute. I'm too busy.
195
00:07:53,706 --> 00:07:54,972
Now, what would've happened
196
00:07:55,041 --> 00:07:57,074
If j. Edgar hoover
Would've said that?
197
00:07:57,144 --> 00:07:59,744
Yeah. The forces
Of crime and evil
198
00:07:59,812 --> 00:08:01,790
Would've been
Runnin' their ramparts
199
00:08:01,814 --> 00:08:03,548
All over the countryside.
200
00:08:03,617 --> 00:08:06,518
Rampant, rampant!
201
00:08:06,586 --> 00:08:08,085
Well, however
They've been runnin',
202
00:08:08,155 --> 00:08:09,954
I'm sure glad to see
You're takin' over.
203
00:08:10,023 --> 00:08:11,134
I don't know anything
204
00:08:11,158 --> 00:08:12,668
About being a deputy sheriff.
205
00:08:12,692 --> 00:08:14,303
There's nothin' to it.
If anything happens,
206
00:08:14,327 --> 00:08:15,426
All you have to do is,
207
00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:16,927
You phone the sheriff in pixley
208
00:08:16,996 --> 00:08:19,430
Or phone the state police
209
00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:20,698
Now, let's see.
210
00:08:20,767 --> 00:08:22,600
Here's everything you'll need.
211
00:08:22,669 --> 00:08:24,101
Your deputy sheriff badge,
212
00:08:24,171 --> 00:08:25,436
Your handcuffs,
213
00:08:25,505 --> 00:08:27,004
Handcuff key,
214
00:08:27,073 --> 00:08:28,739
Blank traffic citations,
215
00:08:28,808 --> 00:08:30,841
And your gun.
216
00:08:30,910 --> 00:08:32,043
A gun?
217
00:08:32,111 --> 00:08:34,879
Yeah. Where'd I put the bullets?
218
00:08:34,947 --> 00:08:36,447
I guess I lost 'em.
219
00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:38,183
Well, you won't need 'em anyway.
220
00:08:38,251 --> 00:08:40,885
I'll just put all this
Stuff in a bag for you...
221
00:08:40,953 --> 00:08:46,257
Handcuffs, key, bag,
Traffic citations...
222
00:08:46,326 --> 00:08:48,859
And then you can give me
The rest of your shooping list.
223
00:09:23,396 --> 00:09:25,730
Mr. Douglas. Heh heh.
224
00:09:25,799 --> 00:09:27,464
Mr. Haney, I, uh...
225
00:09:27,533 --> 00:09:29,400
Somebody told you,
226
00:09:29,468 --> 00:09:31,602
And you just
Couldn't wait to see it.
227
00:09:31,671 --> 00:09:32,671
See what?
228
00:09:34,307 --> 00:09:36,407
This.
229
00:09:36,475 --> 00:09:39,744
Ain't that lifelike?
And that's not all.
230
00:09:42,682 --> 00:09:45,149
Won't that make a
Perfect watchdog?
231
00:09:45,218 --> 00:09:47,118
I don't need a watchdog.
232
00:09:47,187 --> 00:09:49,420
Well, then what
Did you stop me for?
233
00:09:49,488 --> 00:09:51,533
I don't know whether
You know it or not,
234
00:09:51,557 --> 00:09:53,235
But mr. Drucker just swore me in
235
00:09:53,259 --> 00:09:55,459
As deputy sheriff
While he's away.
236
00:09:55,528 --> 00:09:58,429
Heh. Stuck you
With the job, huh?
237
00:09:58,497 --> 00:10:01,099
I see that your truck
Has no license plate.
238
00:10:01,167 --> 00:10:02,900
It don't? No.
239
00:10:02,969 --> 00:10:04,869
Well, I'll be doggone.
240
00:10:04,938 --> 00:10:09,240
It had a plate on it
When I bought it in 1922.
241
00:10:09,308 --> 00:10:11,353
You've been driving
All these years
242
00:10:11,377 --> 00:10:12,988
Without a license plate?
243
00:10:13,012 --> 00:10:15,479
I guess so. Now,
About this alligator,
244
00:10:15,548 --> 00:10:17,548
By pressin' the other eyeball...
245
00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:20,584
Mr. Haney, I've got
To give you a ticket.
246
00:10:20,653 --> 00:10:23,821
Just for pressin'
The other eyeball?
247
00:10:23,890 --> 00:10:26,235
For driving without
A license plate.
248
00:10:26,259 --> 00:10:27,524
Now, mr. Douglas,
249
00:10:27,593 --> 00:10:29,627
We're both reasonable men.
250
00:10:29,695 --> 00:10:32,429
You forget the ticket,
And I'll let you have
251
00:10:32,498 --> 00:10:35,399
This fifty-dollar
Growlin' alligator
252
00:10:35,468 --> 00:10:38,102
For $25.
253
00:10:38,171 --> 00:10:41,005
Are you trying to bribe me?
254
00:10:41,074 --> 00:10:43,141
Uh, no, I'm just tryin'
To give you a good buy
255
00:10:43,209 --> 00:10:45,342
On a growlin' alligator.
256
00:10:45,411 --> 00:10:46,878
I'm sorry, mr. Haney,
257
00:10:46,946 --> 00:10:48,991
But as a duly sworn
Officer of the law,
258
00:10:49,015 --> 00:10:51,382
I have a duty to perform.
259
00:10:55,054 --> 00:10:57,155
Hi, uncle charleton!
260
00:10:57,223 --> 00:10:58,823
Uncle charleton?
261
00:10:58,892 --> 00:11:02,059
Uh, yeah. This is my
Nephew heston haney.
262
00:11:02,128 --> 00:11:03,828
Oh. Well, how do you do?
263
00:11:03,897 --> 00:11:05,763
Now, here, read those over.
264
00:11:05,832 --> 00:11:08,232
If that facts are
Correct, why, just sign it.
265
00:11:08,301 --> 00:11:09,233
What's that?
266
00:11:09,302 --> 00:11:11,035
Mr. Douglas is
Givin' me a ticket.
267
00:11:11,104 --> 00:11:13,237
I'm a deputy sheriff.
268
00:11:13,306 --> 00:11:15,372
Let me see your credentials.
269
00:11:15,441 --> 00:11:17,441
Why, certainly. Here they are.
270
00:11:18,778 --> 00:11:20,589
You got a whole
Bag full of 'em, huh?
271
00:11:20,613 --> 00:11:23,815
Yes. Well, no. It's,
Uh... This is a deputy kit.
272
00:11:23,883 --> 00:11:25,950
Well, it's not
A kit. It's a bag.
273
00:11:26,019 --> 00:11:27,651
Here, I'll show you.
274
00:11:27,720 --> 00:11:29,353
Hold these.
275
00:11:29,422 --> 00:11:30,822
And the, uh...
276
00:11:30,890 --> 00:11:32,067
Drop it!
277
00:11:32,091 --> 00:11:33,858
No, it's not loaded.
278
00:11:33,927 --> 00:11:34,927
Drop it.
279
00:11:37,730 --> 00:11:38,996
It's not loaded.
280
00:11:39,065 --> 00:11:41,065
Mr. Drucker couldn't
Find the bullets.
281
00:11:44,871 --> 00:11:46,770
Here's my badge.
282
00:11:46,840 --> 00:11:48,339
Oh. Very nice.
283
00:11:48,407 --> 00:11:51,408
Well, guess he's got
The goods on you,
284
00:11:51,477 --> 00:11:52,743
Uncle charleton.
285
00:11:52,812 --> 00:11:54,345
Uh, what did you do?
286
00:11:54,413 --> 00:11:56,447
Oh, I haven't got
A license plate.
287
00:11:56,515 --> 00:11:57,960
Somebody stole it, huh?
288
00:11:57,984 --> 00:11:59,583
Yeah, I guess they did.
289
00:11:59,652 --> 00:12:02,086
Well, you report
It, uncle charleton.
290
00:12:02,155 --> 00:12:05,923
I'll do that first thing
I get home, heston.
291
00:12:11,998 --> 00:12:13,865
A wonderful man.
292
00:12:16,202 --> 00:12:18,702
Uh... Hey, what are you
Tearing that up for?
293
00:12:18,771 --> 00:12:20,415
Well, you can't blame a man
294
00:12:20,439 --> 00:12:22,384
If somebody steals
His license plate.
295
00:12:22,408 --> 00:12:24,486
What would you do if
Somebody stole yours?
296
00:12:24,510 --> 00:12:27,278
Well, nobody stole mine.
297
00:12:29,115 --> 00:12:30,993
Oh, new york plates, huh?
298
00:12:31,017 --> 00:12:32,649
Yes. You live there?
299
00:12:32,718 --> 00:12:33,985
No, I live here.
300
00:12:34,053 --> 00:12:36,087
How long? 7 months.
301
00:12:36,155 --> 00:12:38,389
What's your first
Name, deputy douglas?
302
00:12:39,759 --> 00:12:41,225
What are you doing?
303
00:12:41,294 --> 00:12:43,394
Well, we have a law...
304
00:12:43,462 --> 00:12:45,102
All out-of-state residents
305
00:12:45,131 --> 00:12:47,564
Who reside in-state
More than 6 months
306
00:12:47,633 --> 00:12:48,810
Are required to replace
307
00:12:48,834 --> 00:12:50,946
Their out-of-state
Plates with in-state.
308
00:12:50,970 --> 00:12:52,469
Now, there you are.
309
00:12:52,538 --> 00:12:54,516
There's your in-state
Traffic citation
310
00:12:54,540 --> 00:12:56,540
For havin' out-of-state plates.
311
00:12:56,609 --> 00:12:59,076
Now, mr. Officer,
I'm a deputy sheriff.
312
00:12:59,145 --> 00:13:01,745
Like it says in front of
The supreme court building,
313
00:13:01,814 --> 00:13:04,415
"Equal justice under the law."
314
00:13:10,656 --> 00:13:12,256
Eb! Eb!
315
00:13:12,325 --> 00:13:13,435
Eb: yes, sir.
316
00:13:13,459 --> 00:13:15,104
Help me with the
Groceries, will you?
317
00:13:15,128 --> 00:13:16,972
Oh, boy! Soup, spaghetti,
318
00:13:16,996 --> 00:13:18,162
Creamed corn.
319
00:13:18,231 --> 00:13:19,508
We're really gonna eat!
320
00:13:19,532 --> 00:13:20,972
Yep. Who's gonna cook it?
321
00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:22,366
Mrs. Douglas.
322
00:13:22,435 --> 00:13:23,734
Back to the hotcakes.
323
00:13:24,870 --> 00:13:26,870
What's in here?
324
00:13:26,940 --> 00:13:28,839
Oh! No, no, let that alone.
325
00:13:28,908 --> 00:13:30,674
That's my deputy sheriff bag.
326
00:13:30,743 --> 00:13:32,709
Uh, kit... Stuff.
327
00:13:32,778 --> 00:13:34,423
How'd mr. Drucker stick you?
328
00:13:34,447 --> 00:13:36,981
Just bring the groceries
Into the kitchen, will you?
329
00:13:37,050 --> 00:13:39,417
Yes, sir, mr. Dillon.
330
00:13:42,788 --> 00:13:44,388
Oh, a dee-putty!
331
00:13:44,457 --> 00:13:46,623
Uh... A sheriff.
332
00:13:46,692 --> 00:13:48,326
Oh, a fuzz.
333
00:13:48,394 --> 00:13:50,161
A deputy.
334
00:13:50,229 --> 00:13:52,063
A deputy fuzz.
335
00:13:52,131 --> 00:13:53,697
Why are you that?
336
00:13:53,766 --> 00:13:55,032
I'm taking over for mr. Drucker
337
00:13:55,101 --> 00:13:56,167
When he's on his vacation.
338
00:13:56,235 --> 00:13:58,235
Oh, darling, I'm
So proud of you.
339
00:13:58,304 --> 00:14:00,804
I can hardly wait to
See you in your uniform.
340
00:14:00,873 --> 00:14:03,140
Oh... Well, I don't
Get a uniform.
341
00:14:03,209 --> 00:14:05,176
You're a plain clothes dick?
342
00:14:05,244 --> 00:14:07,979
Where do you get these words...
343
00:14:08,047 --> 00:14:10,047
"Dick" and "Fuzz"?
344
00:14:10,116 --> 00:14:11,382
On television.
345
00:14:11,451 --> 00:14:15,152
I saw a gangster movie
With edgar j. Robinson.
346
00:14:15,221 --> 00:14:17,554
Edward g.
347
00:14:17,623 --> 00:14:20,224
I'll bring in the rest of
The groceries, mr. Earp.
348
00:14:20,293 --> 00:14:21,892
Who is mr. Earp?
349
00:14:21,961 --> 00:14:24,028
He was a famous marshal.
350
00:14:24,097 --> 00:14:27,731
Hey, is that your
Dee-putty badge?
351
00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:30,001
Would you like me to
Arrest you for loitering?
352
00:14:30,069 --> 00:14:31,135
No, sir.
353
00:14:31,204 --> 00:14:33,070
Then bring in the
Rest of the groceries.
354
00:14:33,139 --> 00:14:35,150
Darling, what else
Do you have in the bag?
355
00:14:35,174 --> 00:14:37,208
Traffic tickets... And the gun.
356
00:14:37,276 --> 00:14:38,854
Oh! Oh! Oh! Put...
Put that away.
357
00:14:38,878 --> 00:14:40,277
No bullets. Oh.
358
00:14:40,346 --> 00:14:42,013
Mr. Drucker couldn't find 'em.
359
00:14:43,416 --> 00:14:45,249
Here. What are these?
360
00:14:45,318 --> 00:14:47,318
Handcuffs. Oh?
361
00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:48,752
Let me show you how they work.
362
00:14:48,821 --> 00:14:50,565
No, no, no. Do you have the key?
363
00:14:50,589 --> 00:14:52,289
Oh, sure. Right
Here in the bag, yeah.
364
00:14:52,358 --> 00:14:53,802
All right. Arrest me.
365
00:14:53,826 --> 00:14:54,892
No, no. Just one.
366
00:14:54,960 --> 00:14:57,228
You see, you put
One on the criminal...
367
00:14:58,464 --> 00:15:02,266
And one on the police officer.
368
00:15:02,335 --> 00:15:05,036
That way the criminal can't
Make a run for it, you see?
369
00:15:05,104 --> 00:15:06,581
That's very clever. Uh-huh.
370
00:15:06,605 --> 00:15:09,173
Now, you'll notice I
Put it on my left wrist
371
00:15:09,242 --> 00:15:10,908
In case I have to
Make a quick draw.
372
00:15:10,976 --> 00:15:12,388
Darling, darling,
Will you open it?
373
00:15:12,412 --> 00:15:13,532
It's very tight.
374
00:15:13,579 --> 00:15:14,878
Ah. Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah, sure.
375
00:15:14,947 --> 00:15:18,115
I don't suppose I'll
Ever have to use it...
376
00:15:18,184 --> 00:15:19,450
Where's the key?
377
00:15:19,519 --> 00:15:21,563
What? Well, where is the key?
378
00:15:21,587 --> 00:15:23,254
It's here. Oliver!
379
00:15:23,322 --> 00:15:24,455
It's got to be here!
380
00:15:24,524 --> 00:15:26,157
I saw mr. Drucker put it in.
381
00:15:26,225 --> 00:15:28,092
Well, where is the key?
382
00:15:28,161 --> 00:15:29,960
It must be on the
Front seat of the car.
383
00:15:30,029 --> 00:15:31,728
Well, go get it. Yeah.
384
00:15:31,797 --> 00:15:33,597
Ow! I'm sorry.
385
00:15:33,666 --> 00:15:35,144
You'll have to come with me.
386
00:15:35,168 --> 00:15:36,311
In the car? Yes.
387
00:15:36,335 --> 00:15:37,268
Ow.
388
00:15:37,336 --> 00:15:38,336
Come on, we'll...
389
00:15:38,404 --> 00:15:40,382
Darling, slow down!
You're hurting me.
390
00:15:40,406 --> 00:15:41,539
Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
391
00:15:41,607 --> 00:15:43,207
I just want to
Get this thing off
392
00:15:43,276 --> 00:15:44,542
So that you won't...
393
00:15:44,610 --> 00:15:46,077
Now, yes, I've got...
394
00:15:46,145 --> 00:15:48,579
Oh. It's not here.
395
00:15:48,647 --> 00:15:49,947
Well, what about this?
396
00:15:50,015 --> 00:15:51,593
Only been on the job an hour,
397
00:15:51,617 --> 00:15:54,151
And you caught your
First one. What'd she do?
398
00:15:54,220 --> 00:15:55,431
She didn't do anything.
399
00:15:55,455 --> 00:15:57,421
Oh, but I'm liable to.
Now, where's the key?
400
00:15:57,490 --> 00:15:58,689
Oh!
401
00:15:58,757 --> 00:16:00,502
It must've fallen out of the bag
402
00:16:00,526 --> 00:16:01,603
When I showed the policeman
403
00:16:01,627 --> 00:16:02,871
My deputy sheriff kit.
404
00:16:02,895 --> 00:16:04,940
Uh, bag... The stuff, I mean.
405
00:16:04,964 --> 00:16:05,996
Where is that?
406
00:16:06,065 --> 00:16:07,642
It's about 4 miles
Down the road.
407
00:16:07,666 --> 00:16:08,932
Well, go and get it.
408
00:16:09,001 --> 00:16:11,080
Yes, yes, you'll
Have to come along.
409
00:16:11,104 --> 00:16:12,970
Uh, wait...
410
00:16:13,038 --> 00:16:14,783
Get over there and slide over.
411
00:16:14,807 --> 00:16:16,039
That doesn't work.
412
00:16:16,109 --> 00:16:18,390
Well, I can't... Come here.
413
00:16:18,911 --> 00:16:20,978
Uh, let's see. I'll get in.
414
00:16:21,046 --> 00:16:22,146
Yeah, all right.
415
00:16:22,215 --> 00:16:23,792
Well, what am I supposed to do,
416
00:16:23,816 --> 00:16:24,948
Run alongside?
417
00:16:25,017 --> 00:16:27,151
Slide over.
418
00:16:28,287 --> 00:16:29,553
Now what?
419
00:16:29,622 --> 00:16:32,656
Well, drive us back down
The road where the pol...
420
00:16:32,725 --> 00:16:34,691
Oh, you don't drive.
421
00:16:34,760 --> 00:16:36,671
You finally remembered.
422
00:16:36,695 --> 00:16:39,296
Uh, well, here. Let
Me, uh, move over.
423
00:16:39,365 --> 00:16:40,998
Uh...
424
00:16:41,066 --> 00:16:42,833
Uh, look, let me
Try... Give me...
425
00:16:42,901 --> 00:16:44,135
Oh! Oh! Oh!
426
00:16:44,203 --> 00:16:45,402
Now, hold it.
427
00:16:45,471 --> 00:16:47,671
Uh... Get out.
428
00:16:49,975 --> 00:16:51,108
All right.
429
00:16:53,179 --> 00:16:54,345
Here I am,
430
00:16:54,413 --> 00:16:56,947
Running alongside again.
431
00:16:57,016 --> 00:17:00,484
There must be
Some way to do this!
432
00:17:08,961 --> 00:17:10,127
Ow.
433
00:17:11,430 --> 00:17:12,630
Come on, get out.
434
00:17:17,870 --> 00:17:20,371
Well? What about
Opening the door?
435
00:17:20,439 --> 00:17:21,539
Lisa, I can't...
436
00:17:21,607 --> 00:17:23,541
Well, when a husband
Stops opening doors,
437
00:17:23,609 --> 00:17:24,908
The honeymoon is over.
438
00:17:24,977 --> 00:17:26,143
Lisa!
439
00:17:26,212 --> 00:17:28,812
I'm going to throw away
My black night gown.
440
00:17:28,881 --> 00:17:30,181
No! No, no.
441
00:17:37,990 --> 00:17:39,067
All right.
442
00:17:39,091 --> 00:17:40,424
Let's start lookin' for the key.
443
00:17:40,493 --> 00:17:41,425
Ow!
444
00:17:41,494 --> 00:17:42,426
Now, let's see.
445
00:17:42,495 --> 00:17:44,628
It was right around
In here someplace.
446
00:17:49,602 --> 00:17:51,880
Heston: oh, deputy douglas.
447
00:17:51,904 --> 00:17:54,071
What did she do?
448
00:17:54,139 --> 00:17:55,306
This is my wife.
449
00:17:55,374 --> 00:17:57,508
I am mrs. deputy.
450
00:17:57,577 --> 00:17:58,654
How do you do?
451
00:17:58,678 --> 00:18:01,545
How do you do? Oh!
452
00:18:01,614 --> 00:18:03,758
Now, how did you
Get into this mess?
453
00:18:03,782 --> 00:18:07,050
I was showing her how
The handcuffs worked.
454
00:18:07,119 --> 00:18:09,587
And you forgot to get the key.
455
00:18:09,655 --> 00:18:11,088
No, I didn't forget the key.
456
00:18:11,156 --> 00:18:12,889
You remember that...
That deputy kit...
457
00:18:12,958 --> 00:18:14,791
Uh, the bag that I
Was showing you?
458
00:18:14,860 --> 00:18:16,727
Well, I... The key fell out.
459
00:18:16,795 --> 00:18:18,373
Oh. Maybe we can find it.
460
00:18:18,397 --> 00:18:20,041
Let's look around.
461
00:18:20,065 --> 00:18:21,599
Yeah. Ow!
462
00:18:25,538 --> 00:18:26,970
No, I don't see it.
463
00:18:27,039 --> 00:18:28,684
Don't you have a handcuff key?
464
00:18:28,708 --> 00:18:30,107
Ow!
465
00:18:30,175 --> 00:18:31,208
It wouldn't fit.
466
00:18:31,277 --> 00:18:32,588
These are a different type.
467
00:18:32,612 --> 00:18:34,845
That's the wyatt earp model.
468
00:18:34,913 --> 00:18:37,058
Why don't we go
Back to mr. Drucker?
469
00:18:37,082 --> 00:18:38,827
Maybe he has another key.
470
00:18:38,851 --> 00:18:41,184
Smart girl. Should've
Made her deputy.
471
00:18:51,096 --> 00:18:52,841
You and your handcuffs.
472
00:18:52,865 --> 00:18:54,276
You put one on the criminal,
473
00:18:54,300 --> 00:18:55,910
The other one goes on the fuzz.
474
00:18:55,934 --> 00:18:57,579
Then you have your
Right hand free...
475
00:18:57,603 --> 00:18:59,248
Will you be quiet?
We'll be out of these...
476
00:18:59,272 --> 00:19:00,872
In 2 weeks. What?
477
00:19:06,111 --> 00:19:07,322
There are a few things
478
00:19:07,346 --> 00:19:09,813
I would like to call
Deputy douglas.
479
00:19:09,882 --> 00:19:12,349
He didn't say he was
Gonna leave today.
480
00:19:12,418 --> 00:19:14,084
Maybe we can get in...
481
00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:15,286
Ohh, for the...
482
00:19:15,354 --> 00:19:17,921
Oh, come on! Ow!
483
00:19:19,158 --> 00:19:20,402
Hello, mr. And mrs. Douglas!
484
00:19:20,426 --> 00:19:23,160
Oh, mr. Kimball. Are
We glad to see you.
485
00:19:23,228 --> 00:19:25,562
The door's locked.
Sam went away.
486
00:19:25,631 --> 00:19:26,830
Yes, I know.
487
00:19:26,899 --> 00:19:28,209
Heard he made you deputy.
488
00:19:28,233 --> 00:19:29,645
That's quite an honor.
489
00:19:29,669 --> 00:19:31,713
Well, it's not an honor. It...
490
00:19:31,737 --> 00:19:33,114
What do we have here?
491
00:19:33,138 --> 00:19:36,106
Ohh. I put the handcuffs
On mrs. Douglas.
492
00:19:36,175 --> 00:19:37,107
What'd she do?
493
00:19:37,176 --> 00:19:38,742
Mr. Kimball...
494
00:19:38,811 --> 00:19:40,756
Never can tell, can
You? Such a beautiful
495
00:19:40,780 --> 00:19:41,945
And innocent-looking...
496
00:19:42,014 --> 00:19:43,547
Well, not innocent-looking.
497
00:19:43,616 --> 00:19:45,327
Yes, she is innocent-looking.
498
00:19:45,351 --> 00:19:46,750
Certainly fooled me.
499
00:19:46,819 --> 00:19:48,151
Mr. Kimball,
500
00:19:48,220 --> 00:19:49,931
I didn't do anything.
501
00:19:49,955 --> 00:19:51,689
That's what they all say.
502
00:19:51,757 --> 00:19:53,691
Good work, deputy douglas.
503
00:19:53,759 --> 00:19:55,592
Look, can you get
Us out of these?
504
00:19:55,661 --> 00:19:56,760
Out of what?
505
00:19:56,829 --> 00:20:00,297
The handcuffs. I lost the key.
506
00:20:00,366 --> 00:20:02,277
Oh, well, that
Shouldn't be too hard.
507
00:20:02,301 --> 00:20:04,034
Well, it shouldn't be too easy.
508
00:20:04,102 --> 00:20:05,636
I'd say it was impossible.
509
00:20:05,705 --> 00:20:07,616
Although houdini used
To jump off a bridge
510
00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:08,839
With his hands tied...
511
00:20:08,907 --> 00:20:10,974
I don't suppose
You'd want to do that.
512
00:20:11,043 --> 00:20:13,877
Is there a way you
Can cut them off?
513
00:20:13,946 --> 00:20:15,045
Cut what off?
514
00:20:15,113 --> 00:20:16,413
These! Ouch!
515
00:20:16,482 --> 00:20:19,015
I'm sorry. If you
Had something sharp,
516
00:20:19,084 --> 00:20:20,651
Maybe you could break them.
517
00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:21,652
Oh...
518
00:20:21,721 --> 00:20:23,064
I got it!
519
00:20:23,088 --> 00:20:24,254
Come with me.
520
00:20:26,692 --> 00:20:28,525
Well, here we are.
521
00:20:28,594 --> 00:20:30,505
Nothing could be simpler
Than this, now, could it?
522
00:20:30,529 --> 00:20:32,463
Ha ha. Now, if one of you
523
00:20:32,531 --> 00:20:34,543
Will lay down on that side
Of the track right there.
524
00:20:34,567 --> 00:20:36,407
Mr. D, would you lay
Down on that side there?
525
00:20:36,435 --> 00:20:37,568
That's fine.
526
00:20:37,636 --> 00:20:39,536
Oh, to use the track
As an anvil, huh?
527
00:20:39,605 --> 00:20:41,672
Yes, mr. Douglas.
Now, the other one
528
00:20:41,741 --> 00:20:43,507
Will be on the other
Side of the track.
529
00:20:43,576 --> 00:20:45,008
That's it. Mrs.
D, mrs. D, that's...
530
00:20:45,077 --> 00:20:47,411
Thank you, mrs. Douglas.
That's very, very good.
531
00:20:47,480 --> 00:20:51,882
Now, put the handcuffs
Firmly on the rail there.
532
00:20:51,950 --> 00:20:53,428
Uhh. Oh, dear.
533
00:20:53,452 --> 00:20:55,586
That's fine. Firm. Very good!
534
00:20:55,654 --> 00:20:57,098
Get something
To hit it with now.
535
00:20:57,122 --> 00:20:58,682
Yes, sir. Now, if
You'll lay back there.
536
00:21:00,092 --> 00:21:01,092
Oh, boy!
537
00:21:02,595 --> 00:21:04,327
Oh! Oh!
538
00:21:10,135 --> 00:21:12,436
You fatheaded idiot!
539
00:21:12,505 --> 00:21:14,104
Thanks a lot!
540
00:21:14,172 --> 00:21:16,774
I'd watch that if I
Were you, mr. Douglas.
541
00:21:16,842 --> 00:21:19,009
You could get killed that way.
542
00:21:19,077 --> 00:21:20,310
Oh, boy.
543
00:21:22,915 --> 00:21:24,292
I am not going to do it.
544
00:21:24,316 --> 00:21:26,349
You have to! I don't have to!
545
00:21:26,419 --> 00:21:27,951
How am I gonna make the call
546
00:21:28,020 --> 00:21:29,753
Unless you come
Up the pole with me?
547
00:21:29,822 --> 00:21:32,589
Couldn't you call long distance?
548
00:21:32,658 --> 00:21:34,090
I am in no mood...
549
00:21:34,159 --> 00:21:35,492
Well, neither am I.
550
00:21:35,561 --> 00:21:36,927
Well, then come on.
551
00:21:44,002 --> 00:21:45,002
Ow.
552
00:21:48,541 --> 00:21:51,374
Hurry up and make the call!
553
00:21:51,444 --> 00:21:52,709
Ow!
554
00:21:52,778 --> 00:21:53,944
I can't reach it.
555
00:21:54,012 --> 00:21:55,690
Can you get up a little higher?
556
00:21:55,714 --> 00:21:57,180
No, I can't!
557
00:21:57,249 --> 00:21:59,817
Why don't you use
The other hand?
558
00:22:03,622 --> 00:22:04,855
Ooh!
559
00:22:04,924 --> 00:22:05,924
What?
560
00:22:05,991 --> 00:22:08,325
I can't. If I let go, I'll fall.
561
00:22:08,393 --> 00:22:11,027
Well, who do you
Have to call anyhow?
562
00:22:11,096 --> 00:22:12,362
The sheriff.
563
00:22:12,431 --> 00:22:14,042
He probably has another key.
564
00:22:14,066 --> 00:22:16,166
A fine mess you got us into.
565
00:22:16,234 --> 00:22:19,269
Henrietta, did your
Husband ever get you
566
00:22:19,338 --> 00:22:20,938
Into a mess like this?
567
00:22:23,075 --> 00:22:24,174
You see?
568
00:22:24,242 --> 00:22:26,877
I don't care about her husband.
569
00:22:26,946 --> 00:22:28,579
That's a nice way to talk.
570
00:22:28,647 --> 00:22:30,280
Do you know where
Her husband is?
571
00:22:30,349 --> 00:22:32,749
In the army, carrying messages.
572
00:22:32,818 --> 00:22:34,996
Can't you come up a step higher?
573
00:22:35,020 --> 00:22:36,453
No, I couldn't.
574
00:22:36,522 --> 00:22:38,655
Oh, let's go back to
The railroad track idea.
575
00:22:38,724 --> 00:22:40,256
It was much safer.
576
00:22:40,325 --> 00:22:41,670
Look, don't you understand?
577
00:22:41,694 --> 00:22:43,594
I can't reach the phone!
578
00:22:43,662 --> 00:22:45,896
Well, then what are
We doing up here?
579
00:22:45,965 --> 00:22:48,031
I don't know. Climb down.
580
00:22:48,100 --> 00:22:49,566
All right!
581
00:22:52,605 --> 00:22:54,304
I wonder where eb is.
582
00:22:54,373 --> 00:22:56,172
He should've found
The sheriff by now.
583
00:22:56,241 --> 00:22:57,307
He's been gone over...
584
00:22:57,376 --> 00:22:59,220
Oh, darling, hold still!
585
00:22:59,244 --> 00:23:01,122
You're messing up everything.
586
00:23:01,146 --> 00:23:02,813
Do you have to do that now?
587
00:23:02,882 --> 00:23:04,593
Well, what else should I do?
588
00:23:04,617 --> 00:23:05,961
I can't get undressed,
589
00:23:05,985 --> 00:23:07,562
I can't take a bath.
590
00:23:07,586 --> 00:23:08,852
Just be patient.
591
00:23:08,921 --> 00:23:10,654
Eb is going to bring the key.
592
00:23:10,723 --> 00:23:12,155
No, I'm not.
593
00:23:12,224 --> 00:23:14,391
The sheriff didn't have one.
594
00:23:14,459 --> 00:23:16,459
What did he suggest I do?
595
00:23:16,529 --> 00:23:19,830
I'd rather not say
In front of mrs. Earp.
596
00:23:19,899 --> 00:23:22,232
Are we going to
Spend 2 weeks like this?
597
00:23:22,300 --> 00:23:23,233
No.
598
00:23:23,301 --> 00:23:24,301
Why don't you do
599
00:23:24,369 --> 00:23:26,414
What edgar j. Robinson
Did on television?
600
00:23:26,438 --> 00:23:28,405
He used a hairpin to
Open the handcuffs.
601
00:23:28,473 --> 00:23:31,141
Eb, instead of standing there,
602
00:23:31,209 --> 00:23:32,475
Giving us stupid advice,
603
00:23:32,545 --> 00:23:34,611
Why don't you and get
A welder or a plumber
604
00:23:34,680 --> 00:23:35,913
Or somebody with a hacksaw?
605
00:23:35,981 --> 00:23:37,414
Yes, sir.
606
00:23:37,482 --> 00:23:40,651
Hairpins. They only
Work on television.
607
00:23:40,719 --> 00:23:42,085
Never in real life.
608
00:23:44,122 --> 00:23:46,523
Lisa, you opened it!
609
00:23:46,592 --> 00:23:48,025
How'd you do that?
610
00:23:48,093 --> 00:23:50,794
With a hairpin in real life.
611
00:23:50,863 --> 00:23:52,796
I don't believe it.
612
00:23:52,865 --> 00:23:55,098
Well, here, try it.
613
00:23:55,167 --> 00:23:56,399
It's easy.
614
00:24:03,175 --> 00:24:04,407
Ha ha.
615
00:24:04,476 --> 00:24:05,742
Where are you going?
616
00:24:05,811 --> 00:24:08,211
Well, I'm going
To get undressed,
617
00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:10,346
Take a bath, then go to bed,
618
00:24:10,415 --> 00:24:12,326
And in the morning,
If you are still up,
619
00:24:12,350 --> 00:24:14,095
I'll cook you hotcakes.
620
00:24:14,119 --> 00:24:15,351
Wait, lisa.
621
00:24:15,420 --> 00:24:18,088
Lisa! Lisa!
622
00:24:18,156 --> 00:24:20,057
Wait!
623
00:24:20,125 --> 00:24:22,125
Lisa!
624
00:24:23,596 --> 00:24:25,062
Lisa!
625
00:24:25,130 --> 00:24:27,965
Lisa, how did you do this?!
626
00:24:28,033 --> 00:24:31,134
Lisa! Lisa!
627
00:24:31,203 --> 00:24:32,736
Aaah!
628
00:24:43,132 --> 00:24:46,100
Captioning made possible
By mgm home entertainment
629
00:24:48,971 --> 00:24:51,972
Captioned by the national
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